The Weight and Wonder of the In-Between
There’s a specific kind of discomfort that comes from being in a life stage that doesn’t have a clear label. It’s not quite a beginning, but it doesn’t feel like an ending either. You’re not fully stuck, but you’re definitely not moving the way you used to. This space — the in-between — often feels undefined and unspoken. It doesn’t come with milestones or language, so it’s easy to misinterpret it as failure, stagnation, or confusion. But what if the in-between isn’t a problem to fix?
What if it’s a meaningful pause — not one you asked for, but one you need?
What if it’s not a detour, but part of your direction?
The in-between is not the absence of progress. It’s the space where things are quietly rearranging.
Between Identities: The Quiet Unraveling
One of the hardest parts of this life stage is how it pulls at the identities you’ve spent years building. The version of you tied to a job title, a relationship, a specific plan. You may have worked hard to become her — and now, you’re not so sure she fits anymore. This stage often comes with quiet discomfort. You may still be showing up to work, to friendships, to routines — but with a growing sense that something is shifting. Maybe you used to love your career but now feel disconnected from the work. Maybe you once thrived in hustle, but now feel tired just thinking about productivity. This shift isn’t necessarily dramatic. It can look like slow detachment, subtle boredom, or a deep internal resistance to continuing on autopilot. It’s a shedding — not of value, but of versions of yourself that no longer reflect who you are becoming.
Redefining the Pause: It’s Not Stepping Back — It’s Stepping Inward
We often equate a pause with stepping away. A loss of momentum. A retreat. But what if a pause — especially in your 30s and 40s — is actually about stepping inward?
This is what sabbaticals, slow seasons, and intentional transitions can offer: not distance from life, but deeper proximity to self. They are not about disengaging — they’re about reorienting. A realignment that doesn’t demand immediate reinvention, just honest observation.
This is the part of life where pressing pause doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re choosing to respond — not react. And that matters.
Pausing gives you room to hear yourself without the noise of deadlines, expectations, or performance. It invites questions like: What do I actually want now? Who am I outside of what I do?
The Pillars of the In-Between
This life stage doesn’t ask for answers — it asks for reflection. And from that reflection, a few recurring themes often surface. These aren’t categories to check off, but personal pillars to gently examine as you begin to shift.
Womanhood: Beyond Performance
For many women, womanhood was shaped through performance — doing, managing, nurturing, achieving. Being strong, but also pleasant. Capable, but also agreeable. As you move through this life stage, you may begin to notice how exhausting that performance has become. There’s a call here to return to a more grounded version of womanhood. One not built around what others need from you, but around what you need from yourself. It’s a quiet shift from “How do I show up for everyone else?” to “What does showing up for me look like now?”
Motherhood: Grieved, Chosen, Undecided
This stage often brings forward complex feelings around motherhood. Whether you’ve chosen not to have children, longed for them, or find yourself uncertain — the pressure, comparison, and cultural narratives can be overwhelming. This isn’t about resolving your feelings. It’s about making space for them. You are allowed to question. You are allowed to carry grief and clarity at the same time. You are allowed to hold nuance.
Career & Ambition: When Success Needs Redefining
You may find yourself reassessing what success means now. Goals that once energized you may feel heavy. Dreams you worked hard for might not hold the same relevance. This doesn’t mean you’re lost — it means you’re evolving. Redefining ambition in this season isn’t about giving up. It’s about choosing sustainability over speed, purpose over performance. It’s okay if your career needs to shift, slow down, or soften. That doesn’t make you less driven. It makes you more aware.
Burnout: Not a Crisis, But a Signal
Burnout isn’t always a breakdown. It can be the body’s way of saying enough. This is a life stage that asks you to listen more closely to your signals — the fatigue, the disinterest, the discomfort — not as symptoms of laziness, but as invitations to reset. To stop performing strength and start rebuilding from stability.
Permission to Pause — Without the Pressure to Pivot
Not every pause needs a purpose. Not every shift needs a plan. The in-between is a season that asks you to hold uncertainty without rushing to label it as stuck. You don’t have to reinvent your entire life just because you feel unclear. You’re allowed to live in transition without rushing toward a resolution.
This is a time for building your inner operating system — your internal way of checking in, recalibrating, and moving forward from a place that reflects who you are now. It might not be visible to others, but that doesn’t make it less valid. It’s the work beneath the surface that often matters most.
A Closing Thought
If you find yourself in the in-between, know that you’re not alone. This stage is not a glitch in the plan. It is the plan — the quiet recalibration between what was and what’s next.
You’re allowed to slow down. You’re allowed to feel unclear. You’re allowed to ask questions before you look for answers.
Let this moment be less about fixing and more about noticing. Less about what’s next — more about what’s real now.
Journal Invitation
If you’re navigating the in-between, try this prompt:
What is this season asking me to release — and what is it quietly asking me to welcome in?
Or explore your Journaling Starter Guide and create your own rhythm for reflection, intention, and ease.
with love,
S.